The warm air hits my face as I close the glass window door and perch myself on the edge of the porch swing. I breathe in a sigh of pleasure as I contemplate the fact that they’re aren’t any more papers, tests, or projects for at least two and half months. The joy is indescribable. Taking a quick sip of orange soda, I snatch the wireless phone next to me and quickly dial Cameron’s number.
“Hello?” From where I am sitting, it doesn’t exactly sound like my best bud is feeling all that happy.
“Five minutes right? I already set up Bond.” I down another portion of my bottle.
“Uhhh…I don’t know.” I nearly choke on my drink.
“You’re not coming? Cameron, we’ve had our Saturday night James Bond championships every week since you’ve moved here! You’re just going to ditch it now?”
“Well…I was going to ask my dad to drive me but he’s kinda miffed right now because I didn’t do his stupid lawn perfectly. I don’t get the big deal, the lines of the mower were a little crooked, even if it’s wasn’t like Randy’s grade A job, it still trimmed the jungle."
“So what’s the deal then? Just come? Randy can-oh my gosh.”
“Yep, exactly. I don’t know, don’t call me anti social but I don’t exactly feel like coming over tonight. I don’t know…it’s just weird with him gone, the house is so empty.
“Well that’s why you should come.” I say brightly.
“Daria, I can’t. I’ll talk to you later I guess.” I hear the sound of his phone clicking and with great disappointment I drop it next to me. A light goes out in a window across the street and I hug my bare knees to my chin and listen to the peaceful quiet of my backyard with an occasional croak and chirp in the background. With sudden realization I ponder upon the fact that Randy, Cameron’s older brother that has always been around is now gone, maybe forever.
Immediately the image of his face is brought to my mind. Randy always had had dark thick hair that hung in his eyes over the rims of his glasses. When Cameron’s family had moved here three years ago, he had seemed like the complete opposite of his brother. Where Cameron was confident, strong-willed, and bold, Randy had been usually quiet, reserved, and calm. Now though, after getting contacts, working out at the gym a little bit, and getting his Eagle scout award, he had finally found himself. Recently I had begun to realize what an amazingly intelligent, generous, and interesting person he really is. Now though as another window goes dark next door, I realize it’s too late, because he’s left for Princeton and it’s possible that I’ll never see him again.
As I run my finger over the numbers on the phone next to me, I come to the understanding that it’s not even just him. It’s the girl that had been my fourth grade buddy when I was a third grader, the guy that had sat behind me in my Chemistry class, and all of the sisters of my friends who gave me rides in the car when I needed them. All of these seniors are about to leave, to prepare to start the rest of their lives. They are about to find out what their real futures are going to be, and go to an environment that they have chosen for themselves to meet the needs required for them to be able to accomplish their dreams, and I am just stuck here. They have an opportunity to move on while I have to remain where I am, about to start my junior year with the same people I have known for the majority of my life. It’s just doesn’t seem fair.
“Hey loser, why are you sitting out here like a loner?” Olivia slams the door shut and slumps next to me on the porch. I feel her weight next to me but I can’t look up at her.
“Randy left this morning at 4:00.” I say glumly. My sister looks at me quizzically.
“You never cared about him before.” She replies with her perfectly plucked brows furrowed. I can smell her first-date perfume from where I am sitting.
“Where are you going?” I ask with little enthusiasm.
“I was going to go out for a bite with Stockton, but he had to take a rain check because he realized he had a lacrosse banquet tonight. Anyway, look, don’t worry about it, he’ll probably come back for Christmas and Thanksgiving, you know how his parents are.
“It’s not him, Livy, it’s everyone. I hate it how everyone can leave and take over their lives while I have to stay here. They can do anything, go anywhere, and I might never see them again. It’s going to be the same thing next year with you. I have two whole years until I can fly out of the nest.
We’re both quiet, lost in our own thoughts in the still darkness of a summer night. A car occasionally whishes by on the street, and I glance up at the mass of twinkling stars over head.
“That Ursa Major, over there, and there’s Ursa Minor.” I can hear how Randy would point out and describe these particular constellations from their backyard after a family barbeque had died out. Most likely Cameron would roll his eyes at me and I would try not to laugh from where I lie on the freshly cut grass in perfect little rows. Now I yearn to hear those words, to watch Randy shove his glasses up on the bridge of his nose absentmindedly.
“Look!” I hear my sister shout loudly. “It’s the first firefly of the summer that we’ve seen!” I squint into the black surroundings for a few seconds. Suddenly a light green glow appears and then fades out by the white picket fence. I smile. “You’re right.”
“Listen, Dar, I might be leaving for college next summer but we have a whole year to spend together to prepare ourselves. It’s just part of life I guess to watch others leave before you do. I feel my sister put her arm around my shoulders. The warmth brings peace to my troubled mind.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I swing my legs slowly on the porch swing, enjoying the light breeze, the sounds of distant crickets, and the mysterious appearances of flashing fireflies. The change of summer has arrived, and will continue just like I have to. Maybe some of my friendships have dissipated with the coming of college preparations, but my relationship with my sister has not. Next summer, I want to look back on the past year and not regret a lack of appreciation for the evolving men and women who are about to take hold of their lives. I guess the saying is true that you never know how much you’ve loved something until it’s gone. “Goodbye to the class of 2001,” I think to myself as I walk with my sister into the house to play Goldeneye, “I hope you shape your lives into all that they can be.”
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